I get why parents buy Lego now

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 08/21/2019 at 20:25 • Filed to: None

2

36

I went to a joint birthday party for a five year old and his father. Since I don’t have kids (that have found me), there wasn’t much for me to do except take the free beer. Despite the presence of a bouncy castle and numerous children, the birthday boy decided that being around me was more fun— as most people do at parties—and asked if I would help him build a Lego thing.

My expectation was that I would find Lego pieces and he would build them, which would suck, but you can’t deny a birthday request.

To my absolute shock, he immediately settled into a routine of asking me to read the instructions followed by him searching for the required pieces.

Now, I have dabbled in adult Lego, such as their architecture sets, so I know that the worst part is finding the required pieces for a step. Some people would say that searching for pieces is part of the fun, like a puzzle, but I am not a 23 year old manic depressive hipster girl, so I know that puzzles are not fun, and neither is counting the nubs on Lego blocks to make sure you have the right piece.

I am old, at least half of my waking moments are taken up by searching for things: car keys, cables, wallets, glasses. Searching for things is nature’s way of preparing me for death, I will die, just like my beloved trimmer that I bought years ago in a Corte Ingles will without it s charger that I can’t find .

Legos with someone else finding the pieces was glorious. Sometimes he would ask me to snap pieces together, because it was difficult. This made me feel like a boss.

Naturally, this got me thinking about having children. If child labor can make Lego suck less, what else can it do? There are many things I don’t like doing, can a child—or children—fill this role?

I spent much of this week researching the lives of some of my breeder friends. In between complaints about never sleeping, having no life, and worrying that their children will get killed  in a mass shooting , I discovered a number of facts about how child labor can benefit the house and home.

For example, have you used a grocery delivery service? Did you know that if you turn grocery shopping into a game, then you can release your spawn in a Wegmans and they will return with groceries?

I once thought that chores were parents’ way of instilling work ethic in children, but after further research, I’ve discovered that chores are just slave labor for people who have low expectations.

I would have had children a lot earlier if I had known about this. 

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:37

1

So how many of those beers did you have?

punkgoose17 > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:38

1

Lol

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:38

5

Lol. As a parent of 4 little ones, I can attest to a lot of what you’ve discovered. But also, my two oldest boys, aged 5 and 6 will burn through a lego kit in no time. The 6 year old can tackle the Techincs sets now without much assistance at all. Legos are awesome to build with the kiddos. And I can justify buying the big expensive kits as I can use it as bonding time with my boys and get a lot of mileage if we only build when doing it as a team. The Chiron took us over 4  months building it in this fashion.  And I have a lawn service right now, but I also have a mower in the basement just awaiting the day the oldest is big enough to push it :).  Why do you think farmers have such big families?  Other than being bored, that is...  

Alfalfa > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:51

6

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Til I'm a 23 year old manic depressive hipster girl

OPPOsaurus WRX > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:53

7

if you are concerned about labor and just want to play legos with a 5 y.o you should consider adopting. Let me tell you ski pping the diaper years might not be a bad thing.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > OPPOsaurus WRX 08/21/2019 at 20:56

6

Plus the cost. Babies are freaky expensive.

You can borrow kids for free when you need/want them, parents love that.

Honeybunchesofgoats > merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc 08/21/2019 at 20:56

4

When I was a child, I was certain that getting to use the push mower was a sign that I was growing up. Now I know it’s just that mowing sucks and my parents didn’t want to do it. 

Just Jeepin' > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:56

2

This reminds me of an article I found...somewhere...which discussed how making kids feel like productive members of the household from a very young age  led them to contribute eagerly instead of sullenly. Something about a culture in Africa if I recall correctly where kids are integrated into all family tasks very early.

subexpression > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 20:57

8

I t’s probably cheaper to hire somebody to do stuff for you than to have children. Plus you can tell hired help to go away when you’re done . O bviously the best course of action is to hire somebody else’s children.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 08/21/2019 at 20:58

1

At the party? One, plus the one I drank while overseeing the construction of the Lego. Then a few more and wine  once the children went to bed and the parents felt free to drink and stare blankly into space once free from their tiny captors.

Honeybunchesofgoats > subexpression 08/21/2019 at 20:59

1

I like the way you think

jimz > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 21:03

3

there’s just Lego. There’s no such thing as “adult” Lego.

well, at least as long as you don’t construct a Lego penis or Lego tits. I guess that would be “adult” Lego.

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 21:13

1

Yup, I can totally relate.  By the time I figured it out it was too late.  At least I have three boys, one of them is bound to be a bit slow to figure it out.  

Chariotoflove > Alfalfa 08/21/2019 at 21:14

2

Apparently so is my wife. 

Chariotoflove > Just Jeepin' 08/21/2019 at 21:15

0

This works great until puberty hits. 

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Chariotoflove 08/21/2019 at 21:31

0

Not i f they don’t have access to the outside world and therefore cannot learn any differently.

Honeybunchesofgoats > jimz 08/21/2019 at 21:31

0

That’s not what I choose to tell myself when I build a Lego Villa Savoye

shop-teacher > Alfalfa 08/21/2019 at 21:40

0

Yeah, me too. I feel like I need to have a talk with my students tomorrow ... Or something.

shop-teacher > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 08/21/2019 at 21:41

1

Its true. We do.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 08/21/2019 at 21:41

1

my daughters are 7 and getting into violin, dance, gy mnastics, drama club, girls scouts.  that shit is expensive

Brickman > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 21:47

1

my nephew just destroys everything I make :/

A house is built of 4 blocks :)  (I let him build with Duplo since he has a hard time with the little bricks, and much easier to clean up than the system size. )

Under_Score > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 22:06

1

I never got into Lego, which made my mom kind of sad. There were a lot of “kid” things I never truly got into. Hot Wheels, of course, as well as Webkinz.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Under_Score 08/21/2019 at 22:09

2

It was weird shopping for a gift for a five year old. I didn’t want to be that asshole who bought something educational, but I also didn’t want to buy something that wasn’t educational. I settled on a Spider-Man Lego set, since it seemed like Lego might unintentionally be educational, but also seem not educational .

It was then that I realized that that is exactly why Lego will always be popular. 

Under_Score > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 22:12

1

Hot Wheels for real cars are always my go-to. Less than a dollar and you can show kids the real cars.

These were my Toys for Tots contributions last year. AA packs with four batteries were $1 each at Ingles, so I attached a pack to each car. My dad’s xB was traded in a couple weeks after these photos.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Under_Score 08/21/2019 at 22:18

1

I was tempted to buy something car related, but later he got a gift that was this truck that blasted music and it was clear that his parents wanted whoever gave that to die, so I was happy to disassociate from that. 

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/21/2019 at 22:26

1

I h ave two (young) children and this story checks out... . slave labor is a real thing.

Some of this is a little different for me though ... my son (5yrs) enjoys Lego but sometimes get too frustrated with putting things together based on the directions. W hen he runs into a snag and throws a fit, I then get to build most of the remaining Lego thing. I also try to pass my years of experience and past struggles , which I like. This knowledge has never really benefited   me, it’s always good to fill other people’s brain-box with useless info.

Honeybunchesofgoats > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 08/21/2019 at 22:32

4

The kid told me “sometimes it’s too hard so you just use the pieces to make your own thing ” and it blew my mind . I clearly Legoed wrong as a child, because I was terrified of missing a step.

For a brief moment, I considered letting a five year old advise me on everything. 

Chariotoflove > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 08/22/2019 at 00:48

0

There are certainly those kids whose temperaments predispose them to embrace their family role. Others may acquiesce with varying degrees of distaste.  However, most kids develop an instinct to distance themself from their parents and establish their own identity.  The extent to which that instinct spawns rebellion from family duties does, as you say, depend on how they are brought up, as well as individual temperament. It’s a good thing to have, I believe, because it helps create a capable independent adult. 

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 08/22/2019 at 07:22

1

Yup, it’s win win.  Parents get time to themselves and you get to have fun with a kiddo.  

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > OPPOsaurus WRX 08/22/2019 at 07:54

0

*is terrified of the thought in his current sleep-deprived stupor from the baby deciding to have a bad night*

ST80MND > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/22/2019 at 08:58

0

“ I am old, at least half of my waking moments are taken up by searching for things: car keys, cables, wallets, glasses.”

+10 this!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/22/2019 at 09:22

0

LOL - this is good Kinja.

My little guy is 6, and when we build LEGO sets together, he starts building and I take the time to organize the pieces, arranging them by piece and color, so they’re easier to find. I actually find this very calming, and every once in a while he needs help with a couple pieces or he’s messed up a little and it needs to get fixed. Building LEGO, by myself or with my kids, is very much like therapy for me. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/22/2019 at 09:25

0

That kid’s going to be alright.

shop-teacher > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 08/22/2019 at 10:14

1

You don’t have to let them do that much stuff. My oldest is almost 7. We have limited her to two activities, of which she chose S couts and karate.  If she wants to start something else, she’ll have to drop one of the others.  Although so far she’s pretty happy with just those two.

Yes, it is expensive, although look into options through your local park district. Private karate classes cost a fuggin fortune, but through the park district it’s really not that bad. I think it’s $70 for an 8-week session. It’s my wife and my feelings that you shouldn’t put them into too many things. They need to have time to play, plus its too hard on the rest of the family. Not to mention too expensive.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > shop-teacher 08/22/2019 at 12:02

0

I’m not as worried about expense, aside from the handful of things that require costly equipment, but more trying to juggle that many things in addition to life. We already have a hard enough time just getting the little guy ready for a day with the nanny, between packing food, getting him going/fed, drop offs, pick ups, etc. Self-driving cars would be really handy if you could trust kids to behave for an automated quick trip to their next activity.

The thought of controlling their number of activities is great and I totally agree that they need to have play time to be kids. School scares me, too, since it crushes their natural curiosity and interests for the sake of conformity.

shop-teacher > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 08/22/2019 at 12:57

0

The juggling is definitely the harder part, and limiting the number of activities is key to not going insane. A lot of stuff gets easier as they get older. Mine are 4 and 6, and even little things like my 6 year old being able to buckle her own seat belt make a huge difference in day to day life.

The school system is changing (I really am a shop teacher), albeit slowly, to move away from the sit there shut up and conform model, to using their natural curiosity to the benefit of schooling.  I am generally happy with where the system, at least around here is going.  I’m a public school teacher who proudly sends my children to public school  My first grader is still loving it.